NEWS FLASH: The Fearsome Five have taken over Trombonopolis!! Citizens cower in fear.
What can be done??
Who are these evil villains? Five notes that insinuate themselves into our daily repertoire lives and wreak havoc! Run for for lives!!! (or listen and adjust...your choice, really)
Namely: five notes which show up a lot in our rep and have some pitch issues.
1. The Incredible Sinking G
Just as you hope to sail above the world in your tonal glory, the Incredible Sinking G is there to flatten your spirits. FLAT
2. The Shape Shifter (G-flat/F-sharp)
This is a sneaky one folks! Is it a G-flat? Is it an F-sharp? Each one points the finger of blame at the other but the result is the same...FLAT
3. The Not-So-Safe F
Oh, so you thought first position was safe, huh?? You thought you could just pull into that safe harbor and nothing could go wrong? Think again, bub. It's SHARP.
Oh, it's just 2nd position. What could possibly go wrong? Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha (SHARP)
5. The Evil King: E-Not-So-Flat
The King of the Fearsome Five: the E-flat. SHARP
He has the terrifying ability to bend your mind into believing the "sharp is good, sharp is good, sharp is good" Nooooooo!!
Calling the Trombone Avengers! Sally forth and do most noble battle with these Fearsome Foes. Do not let them win. In the name of all (tuning) that is good, we must prevail.
Now returning you to your regularly scheduled broadcast.